Miss AP's Diary
Wedding Etiquette & the Art of Being the Less Dressed Guest
But what about the number one challenge faced by every woman as the summer approaches? The dreaded wedding guest outfit. How much bandwidth of prime internet real estate is dedicated to the art of being the best dressed guest?
My question is, why would you want to be the best-dressed guest? It’s boring and anyway it’s best to leave that crown to the bride. At least if you approach it with a view to being the less-dressed guest, you can have a little fun with it.
Here’s how to raise eyebrows without risking your manners – and your mates.
It’s not ok to wear white
Yes, I’m aware that the Francis in white is basically the most sensuous and slippery gown you’ve ever laid eyes upon, but save it for when you go to Cannes or something. Unless the bride murdered your cat and left its bloody corpse on your doorstep, it’s best to opt for the oyster silk version when attending nuptials.
Cover Your Ass
‘What? But it’s my prime asset!’ I hear you cry. Which is why I suggest you opt for the Madison skirt or the Brandi dress, both of which have daringly cut sheer panels to caress the curves of your bedazzling bum. But if you want to stay on the good side of the bride, shrug a chic summer coat on top for the ceremony so that at least while she’s signing the register she can have the limelight.
Wear the trousers
Just because the invite says ‘summer frocks and hats’ does not mean you have to wear a summer frock and a hat. Dress codes are made to be broken. Push the boat out with a pair of palazzo pants and a blouse instead: the Pennie two-piece is a bona fide wedding head-turner, not least because it is entirely sheer. Toe the line with a bum-skimming blazer at least until the canapés come out.
Big up the black tie
A black tie wedding is a fantastic excuse to go all out. Lace! Cleavage! Diamonds! Use the excuse to pour your proportions into a corset – the Madison in bewitching midnight blue cuts a brilliant figure-of-eight into the nuptial proceedings, and looks modern and mannerly when paired with a great pair of cropped flair trousers.