Miss AP's Diary

Valentine’s Day: A Brief And Titillating History

Valentine’s Day: A Brief And Titillating History

Feast Of Love

Nowadays on the feast day of St Valentine, you might expect to be lavished with flowers, chocolates – perhaps even a candlelit champagne supper for two. But way back in the murkiness of history, in the Pagan era from whence this Feast of Love came, you would have expected not chocolates, but a slap on the bottom with a shaggy goat skin.

‘Tis true: February 14 was the day of the Pagan festival Lupercalia, a celebration of fertility during which strapping young men ran about the streets naked save for a goat skin girdle, slapping the quivering flesh of excited young women in order to encourage fertility. What followed was an orgiastic party that lasted ‘til dawn: the wine flowed, the bare skin smarted, and the community’s fertility was guaranteed for another year.

Here at Agent Provocateur we like to take our V-Day lead from this carnal celebration, rather than the martyrdom of poor old Saint Valentine himself.

Where the pious Roman priest Valentine might have encouraged red roses and romantic rhymes, the celebrants of Lupercalia would almost certainly have opted instead for a good pair of backless knickers and a whip.

Our recommendation? Take their lead when dressing for a racy Valentines date.

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Look to the Kendall knicker, which frames the cleavage of the bum like a viewfinder to a delicious forbidden place. The Masie offers a scintillating, revealing peek to the curve of your derrière, and try the sophisticated Kari, which opens lasciviously on to the bottom. When worn atop a pair of Lynx hold-ups, they are an explicit invitation to the most thrilling of parties.

Pair your knickers with a floor sweeping gown of wraparound silk. All the easier to unwrap when that goat skin approaches. Not keen on the idea of being lashed with a bit of goat? Perhaps a leather cat o’ nine tails trimmed with gold might caress the skin more favourably. Finish with a lick of Fatale body cream on that reddened rump.


You’ll find you’re not really craving chocolates at all anymore.

Happy Valentine’s Day.


Miss AP xx

Posted Jan 29, 2016