Miss AP's Diary

Miss AP’s Diary – What men really think of your knickers

Miss AP’s Diary – What men really think of your knickers

On behalf of women everywhere, I’ve conducted a large-scale survey of men across a multitude of ages, social status, races, professions, religious beliefs and sexual persuasions. The aim of the survey? To find out What Knickers Men Want.
And to quote Buzzfeed, the results will blow your mind.

The big brief: You’re thinking: Will he think I’m a granny or will he notice this is totally fresh in a nineties Kate Moss kind of way? He’s thinking: How do I get to what’s underneath those?

Sheer knickers: You’re thinking: time to play peekaboo! He’s thinking: the temptation of being able to see almost everything my heart desires is too much. How do I get them off?

Strappy cut-out knickers: Once a man catches a glimpse of quivering bum cheeks straining underneath criss-crossing black straps, his first thought will inevitably be to raise his hand and smart you, hard. After that, I’m afraid he will use that same hand to pull them off as quickly as he can manage.

Trixie: He’ll think it looks like dental floss. And what does one do with dental floss? Get it in between the teeth and get it off, pronto.

Ouvert: You’re thinking. Finally, finally, I’ve found a way to wear scintillating slivers of hot silk and lace all the way through. He’s thinking: Sorry, I’m too well endowed for these. You’ll have to take them off.

Side-tie briefs: What, you mean I can take these off while she’s straddling me? WIN.

The conclusions I have drawn from this extensive survey are that men just want to get your knickers off. French or frilly, sheer or shiny, boyish or beribboned: what matter is not what he thinks, but how you feel. Because a woman who feels good in her own knickers is quite enough to get off on, even before you’ve got them off.