Miss AP's Diary

The Do’s and Don’ts of an AP Halloween

The Do’s and Don’ts of an AP Halloween

“This is not North Shore High School and you are not Regina George, babes”

Halloween wasn’t always about cute pumpkin babies and highly flammable policewomen you know. Its origins are far darker. The festival began in Ireland, where it was known as Samhain, and it was believed that on the night of October 31st the worlds of the living and the dead overlapped, and the deceased would come back to life and cause havoc. It was a night of mischief and trickery, and people would dress up as the dead to scare the living daylights out of anyone who didn’t comply with the code of fear. Exactly the kind of party an AP girl would get a gilt-edged invite to.

At Halloween, I prefer my outfit to be directed by a mood, not a character – I like to honour the ancient moods of darkness, shadows and a hint of the deadly. Not for the AP girl the gaudy polyester cape of a Sexy Queen of Hearts, rather for her the subtle glimmer of hand-sewn crystals in a body-contouring corset, and the tempting glimpse of skin through a stretch of black French Leavers lace.

Herewith, my rules for a deadly Halloween.

DO

Wear a corset. Unless you are a tight-lacer, a circus artist or a Victorian dame lost in the wrong century, you probably don’t get the opportunity to wear a corset every day. Which is a shame, really, considering how divine your proportions are when wearing one. Make Halloween your very own Night of the Living Perfect Proportions and strap in tight.

DON’T

Commit the cardinal error of thinking that bra + knickers + animal ears = a costume. This is not North Shore High School and you are not Regina George, babes.

DO

Follow the lead of Kate Moss, as always. That top hat look she wore in 1997 is an example of how to wear lingerie on Halloween. I ripped her off two years ago, wearing the Fiona Kaftan over my most luxurious silky smalls and ended up in a castle in Scotland having been flown by helicopter by a certain famous millionaire.

DON’T

Follow the crowd. A cat, witch or a princess – really? You have more imagination than that. Look instead to the Vampire for your inspiration – they’re always the best dressed villains. Catherine Deneuve in The Hunger, Monica Bellucci in Dracula’s Bride and of course Lucy in Coppola’s Dracula should be your starting point.

DO

Look at the pictures of Carine Roitfeld’s Vampire Ball at Paris Fashion Week 2013 to get an idea of what you should be emulating. Fashion people are a lot of things but bad masqueraders ain’t one of them. It’s haute horror at its most decadently fabulous.

DO

Be a femme fatale AND a feminist. Strike the right balance by choosing strong female characters to emulate. Lisbeth Salander anyone? Daenarys Targaryan? All you need is one of those chainmail Dolce & Gabbana snoods with your Zindie bra, and hey presto you’re Joan of Arc.

DON’T

Cover your face in Day of the Dead face paint and then go straight to an illegal rave in a railway tunnel like I did a few years back.

Just. No.