Miss AP's Diary

Miss AP’s Diary – Mastering The Classics

Miss AP’s Diary – Mastering The Classics


Mastering the Classics…

When my phone rang the other day I thought it was my friend Annabelle calling to berate me about the rude Flipagram I’d uploaded after her Dante’s Inferno dinner party the other night (what did she expect?). But instead it was Robert, a sparkly-eyed country gent that I sat next to for the duration of the meal.

‘I’m sorry am I disturbing you?’ he interjected in the middle of my rant about the Circle of Lust.

‘Oh I’m ever so sorry, I thought you were Annabelle, ‘ I said feebly.

He’d got my number from her and wanted to ask me out on a date.

‘I have a box at the Albert Hall for the Royal Philharmonic Orchestra next week, and I remember you saying you are classically trained so I thought you might be interested. What is it that you’re trained in?’ he asked.

‘Knickers.’ I responded, to a rather deafening silence. ‘Yes, I’m classically trained in knickers, and I must say I’ve really hit the high notes with many pieces.’

‘Is that so….?’ he prompted.

‘Yes, I’m familiar with all the classics,’ I continued. ‘Air on a G String, Nocturne in A – I’ve mastered them all.

I’ve played the Cendrillon in a quartet, I’ve duetted with Margot, Alina and even Whitney, I’ve nailed the Luna Symphony no. 3 and I’ve found perfect harmony within the silken sonata of Jena. Gershwin, Beethoven, Mozart, you name it, I’ve done it.’

‘So I guess you’ve done the Fantasia in Black?’ he helped.

‘Oh yes, but I prefer playing that in a trio,’ I responded, ‘the crescendo to the climax is simply spectacular with three players.’

‘Sounds simply darling. Shall I pick you up at 7?’